


sunlight

by nightingvle



Series: femslash february 2020 [1]
Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: F/F, set during the time beau starts avoiding jester
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-06
Updated: 2020-02-06
Packaged: 2021-02-27 19:54:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 900
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22591339
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nightingvle/pseuds/nightingvle
Summary: I had been lost to you, sunlight. And flew like a moth to you, sunlight. Oh your love is sunlight.
Relationships: Jester Lavorre/Beauregard Lionett
Series: femslash february 2020 [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1625506
Comments: 2
Kudos: 51





	sunlight

Laughter echoes across the walls of the inn, drowning out all other voices. To others, it is merely a chorus of voices they find indistinctive amongst the rowdiness. But to Beau, there is a sound so distinctive she couldn’t miss it if she tried—a jingling laugh she could make out amidst the largest of crowds. It is the same voice she falls asleep listening to and the first one she hears each day, having woken up early again and again just to hear her say ‘good morning!’ 

Jester sits further down the table with the rest of their friends, Sprinkle wrapped around her neck and gratefully munching on the tiny pieces of pastries she hands him. It aches to be this far away from the other girl, even if by a few extra feet. The memory of her pout when she chose the furthest chair away from her still plays in her memory, feeding upon her guilt. Looking so sad when she’s normally so cheerful isn’t right—it looks wrong and all Beau wants is to fix it, even if she is the cause of it. _This_ , right here, being cheerful and laughing as she tells jokes to their friends is much better.

Even Beau, who watches the blue tiefling and sees the bright smile that reveals her fangs, can’t help but feel the corners of her own mouth tug upwards. She’s been doing that a lot lately, smiling. It felt strange once, something that hurt too long to do—still does, somewhat. And you could say it looked as wrong as Jester looking so sad. But now… no, ever since meeting Jester, the gesture has come to her a lot easier. More naturally, even. 

The monk twirls a fork in her barely touched food, completely abandoned at this point as she finds herself lost in thought. There are times like this when she finds it impossible to look away and by now, she’s given up trying. 

Her presence alone brightens up the room, calling all eyes to her with both her energy and colorful outfits. She is warm, yes, and bright and brilliant, and many other things. But she also hurts to look at if you stare too long, because then Beau’s thoughts drift to other places, ones that are hopeless and unattainable, but ones that pester her mind all the same. That reminder alone is enough to make her smile falter and her gaze drift away.

She is like the sun, Beau decides. 

Once, she had fantasized of being Jester’s beacon, but perhaps Jester is hers. For she’s someone Beau would follow through any danger, would travel to the ends of this and every other world for. And even when life gets to be too much and she feels the need to close herself off, when she’s left to the darkest parts of herself that she thought she had left behind, Jester is right there, taking her hand and guiding her back to the path she had meant to be walking all along—with a few diversions, of course. To herself.

When she finally brings herself to tear her gaze away from her half-empty tankard, her eyes meet a familiar set of violet staring back at her. Beau’s first instinct is to look away and ignore her for the rest of their meal, but that won’t do and it’ll only just give her away, show that she has something to be ashamed of. Instead, Beau just stares back, trying her best not to falter or show the blush that is surely staining her cheeks. Jester smiles wider at this and seems… satisfied?

Beau doesn’t know what she expected, really. Questions, maybe. A knowing glance. But then again, it’s not like Jester can read her thoughts, or at least… she doesn’t think she can. She’s being too paranoid. Hesitantly, Beauregard finds it within her to smile back, which isn’t all that difficult given the sight before her.

Nothing more is said between them, but Nott’s wide grin as she stares between the two with a knowing look is all Beau needs to regret her actions. The moment Jester looks away, Beau is staring daggers at the goblin, who doesn’t look fazed in the least. No, quite the opposite, in fact. She looks ready to play matchmaker or as if it was she who masterminded the whole thing between them right there. It could be both, really.

Beau swears under her breath. Alright, perhaps it was a mistake letting Nott in on her secret, but keeping these feelings to herself was killing her. She felt ready to burst, like if she didn’t tell somebody she might just tell Jester and that can _never_ happen. She may fantasize about them, about being everything Jester is looking for, but she’s not so hopelessly in love that she believes that might actually come true. That it might be anything more than a silly dream.

Jes means _everything_ to her—she is her beacon, her sunlight, the warmth that brings a smile to her face, all that and more. And perhaps it’s selfish of her, but she can’t bare to lose that light, doesn’t want to risk the sun that keeps her warm drifting further and further away. She doesn’t want to lose Jester. 

No, these are words that must always go unspoken between them, no matter how much she imagines the contrary.


End file.
